In a world where 1 in 5 children reports being bullied, I can confidently assume that you, as the reader, either know someone who has been affected by bullying, has been the bully, or was the victim of a bullying situation (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019) Our country's response to this overwhelming number was to implement zero-tolerance policies as a means of ending bullying. However, because of the lack of intervention programs, the aggression that a bully shows isn't stopped and their behavior isn't corrected. These programs and policies are often successful at short-term remediation of the behaviors but are not based on the "psychobiological model of bullying that provides a framework for understanding the causation and prevention" thus ultimately ignoring "the factors operating throughout the development of the child that contributed to the bullying behavior of that child" (LeBlanc, 2001). Ultimately, this leaves our students with unimproved aggression that only lingers and festers into their adult life.
That picture above is me 11 years ago. I was bullied relentlessly in high school to the point that I developed depression, an eating disorder, experienced extreme amounts of anxiety going to school every day, and also began a journey down a road of self-harm and suicidal ideation. I was bullied by fellow classmates who, I would learn later on, were dealing with their own personal traumas such as divorces and bankruptcies and just trying to ensure those things didn't come out and ruin their "reputation"; it was easy to deflect the attention onto the weird girl (me) who didn't have new, fancy clothes, came from a small school no one had ever heard of and wasn't allowed to have a cell phone until she turned 16. At that point in my life, I needed someone to tell me it wasn't personal because, while no one likes being a scapegoat, I would have rather been aware I was a scapegoat than truly believe that I was every mean name they called me because I genuinely thought I was worthless.
From that need, I joined my friends, pictured above, on a journey through high school trying to share the importance of making sure every student felt accepted, but it was a pretty hard feat when I still hadn't accepted myself to be preaching to other victims and teachers as well as bullies that these behaviors needed to change. This put a target on my back and I was shoved downstairs, my house was egged, and my first car was damaged by my bullies who thought it would be funny to put glass shards in my tires and maple syrup in my gas tank. Like many victims, I blamed myself and it took making it past my 21st birthday, something I truly didn't believe would happen, for me to shift my perspective and start to make a difference in the lives of others through advocacy rather than remaining a victim. We value our students and children in this world so much and have put these policies in place as a means of protecting them when in actuality we're hurting them more by not addressing these behaviors through reformative measures. My bullies were suspended and one was expelled, those actions only made their behaviors worse.
As a student, I needed the support of not just my teachers and school administrators, but my peers more than anything when I was trying to create change. I now lead camps and workshops in schools regarding the bullying epidemic, my story, and what every person can do to create positive change in relation to bullying at their school and in their community. So, I ask you as the reader, will you work to enact positive change by using your voice for good? Will you go to your teachers, your administrators, and your principal and tell them about the bullying experiences you've had whether that be as a victim, a bystander, or as the bully? Will you ask them to implement socio-emotional learning so you and your peers can learn how to demonstrate empathy for others and be compassionate global citizens?
References
LeBlanc, J. C. (2001). Bullying: It’s not just a school problem. Paediatrics & Child Health, 6(7), 411–413. https://doi.org/10.1093/pch/6.7.411
National Center for Educational Statistics. (2019). Fast Facts: Bullying (719). https://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=719
Image Sources
The author of this blog post created the image of herself, she and her friends, and her fellow leaders at camp.
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