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Why Should we use Compassionate Communication with Bullies?



        Approximately one in five students report being bullied and 41% of students believe that bullying would happen again to them (National Bullying Prevention Center, 2019). When individuals think about bullying they often think about the victim and seeking justice for them. Very seldom does someone think about how they can help the bully eliminate this behavior in order to ensure no child ever gets bullied again.
        As a child, we have been told to tell a bully that their words don’t affect us or to ignore them, but in actuality, this type of response has been reviewed by students as making the situation worse (2019). With that in mind, we must find ways to neutralize the aggressive behaviors exhibited by bullies by understanding them. As it is, research on bullying only commenced in The United States in 2005 (2019) and while this research provides insight into the bullying problems, it does not aid us in creating effective policies or programs to combat it (Nansel et al., 2001).
        While we may not have the research just yet to back up how to create effective policies and programs, we do have the research on current policies and programs that have been implemented in schools and their lack of efficacy. We need to make sure that we are integrating programs into the curriculum that truly encourage compassionate communication and socio-emotional growth of a child from all aspects including those children who exhibit these negative, aggressive behaviors and become identified as “bullies.” But how do we do that? How do we change a system that has poisoned itself by not being tolerant of children who display a need for socio-emotional intervention?
        Right now, we start small. How often do we allow the negative voice in our head to shape the way that we speak to those who surround us, even as an adult? Too often that negative voice inside of our head turns into a negative voice that we are utilizing when we speak to someone and as such, we lose all compassionate communication that we have been working to display. This is where you come in. I want to challenge you with a 7-day challenge, and it's simple, all you must do is say one compliment to someone each day and ensure that that compliment is not of the surface level but it's truly genuine and digs deep. The only way that we can start a movement of kindness and compassion in our youth is by displaying it as an adult. This is just the beginning of forming a new habit not just for yourself but in the lives of whom you touch. Let me know how your challenge goes and if you find those around you being a bit more positive and kind to their peers as well in the comments below!
References

Nansel, T. R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R. S., Ruan, W. J., Simons-Morton, B., & Scheidt, P. (2001). Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth. Journal of the American Medical Association, 285(16), 2094. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.285.16.2094 

National Bullying Prevention Center. (2019). Bullying Statistics. https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/stats.asp 

Video

Fellowship, T. (2016, October 20). The labels we carry. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNS_D-pw8y4&feature=youtu.be

Comments

  1. Renee MMarch 31, 2022 at 11:49 AM

    I'm advocating for a similar issue! My focus is on providing information and support for parents whose children are the victims of bullying behavior. I'd love to connect and maybe share ideas on how to support both aspects of this widespread issue. Here's the link to my blog... https://studentadvocacynow.blogspot.com/2022/03/welcome-introduction.html

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